14 November, 2012

Papa John Schnatter You're No Chick-Fil-A Dan Cathy

Papa John Schnatter, you're no Chick-Fil-A Dan Cathy.

Yes, there are ultra-conservative , right wing, Obama-hating dollars to be made by getting famous for disagreeing with Obama about something, but threatening to cut your employees' hours to avoid providing Obamacare to your workers is not the way to do it.

You can learn a lot from Dan Cathy at Chick-Fil-A. Here's how Cathy leveraged the power of hate to bring out the right wing base and increase his same-store sales:

1. First, do like Dan Cathy did - pick the right battle. Don't pick Obamacare. Some of your Obama-hating customers secretly want some Obamacare because, without it, they won't have any healthcare. Learn from Dan Cathy who appealed to the homophobia that is rife in the GOP base. Don't try to increase same store sales by asking your customers to rally for you on a pocketbook issue like healthcare. If there's one thing Republican evangelicals hate more than gay people it's not having any healthcare.

2. Don't directly attack Obama or one of his policies, get somebody in the Obama administration to attack you - as Rahm Emanuel did when Chick-Fil-A , infamous for its anti-gay personnel policies and its financial support for anti-gay organizations, when Chick-Fil-A tried to get a business license to operate in Rahm Emanuel's Chicago. Cha-Ching. Millions of gay-hating, chicken-eating evangelicals flocked to Chick-Fil-A restaurants to stand up. stand up for Jeezussss buy supporting a business that picks on gays.

3. Spend a little time courting and wooing the right wingers, cooing and dog whistling in their ears as Cathy did before Rahm Emanuel attacked him. Chick-Fil-A spent years dog-whistling evangelicals - closing on Sundays, catering free chicken to meetings of the ultra-conservative Christian Business Men's Committee, and, of course, getting sued for unfair treatment of their gay employees and applicants.

Joining Louisville's mega Southeast Christian Church and being seen playing golf with Senior Pastor, Bob Russell, isn't the same as showing gays the love of Jeeezussss by being mean to them.

Come on, Papa John Schnatter, get in the game. Where's the dog-whistle in making TV commercials starring pro football players? Give your base the spokespeople they want. Don't try to play the anti-gay card - Chick-Fil-A already did that. Your right wing base is dying to buy pizza from a chain that questions Obama's citizenship so why not give them head birthers Donald Trump and Joe Arpaio? And your base loves to portray  their God as a deity that is willing to kill innocent people to punish "ungodly" politicians so why not give your TV commercial viewers Michele Bachmann, who famously said God sent deadly earthquakes and hurricanes  to get Washington's attention.

Do a TV commercial starring all the high-profile anti-science and anti-women candidates who were defeated in their recent races: Deadbeat dad and soon-to-be-former-Congressman, Joe Walsh, who recently said women don't die in childbirth anymore so there's no need for the "life of the mother exception" in abortion  law. And don't forget  "Legitimate Rape" candidate, Todd Akin.  

And if you really want your same-store sales to spike, give viewers a TV commercial in which defeated VP candidate, Paul Ryan, calls rape just another method of conception.

But do it today before Dan Cathy at Chick-Fil-A thinks of it.
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