17 February, 2010

Don't Be Stupid, Send This Post (Not Your Resume) To Anonymous Employers

Congratulations. You ran a "blind" employment ad and now you have a short stack of resumes from people who are stupid enough to send resumes to anonymous advertisers. I said "short stack" because not many people responded. That's because most people are smart enough not to send resumes to anonymous advertisers.
But what to do? You can't really hire any of the people who were stupid enough to answer a blind ad because that would make you an employer who's stupid enough to hire people who documented and proved their stupidity by answering a blind ad.
But don't despair. Even though you have a stack of resumes from people who are now documented to be too stupid to hire, I have two ways for you to benefit from those stupid people resumes.
Don't throw away the stupid people resumes. Just push them to one side of your desk and label them "resumes from people who are too stupid to hire."
Now, run a second ad identical to the first one except for one thing: this time identify your company. The resulting stack of resumes will be much higher and the applicants will be better.
Some applicants answered both ads. Move all duplications to the stupid people pile. Interview only those applicants who didn't answer the blind ad.
So the stupid people pile is worthless, right? Wrong. Do you have any idea how much scam artists would pay for the names and phone numbers of people who are stupid enough to answer blind ads? I mean, people who are stupid enough to answer blind ads are stupid enough to give their Social Security numbers and PIN numbers and bank account numbers to strangers on the phone or in their email inbox. Those stupid people resumes are worth their weight in gold to scam artists.
Editorial note: The preceding was sarcasm. Higginbotham At Large is not advocating running blind ads so you can collect the names and contact info of stupid people.
But Higginbotham At Large meant to be taken at his word when he said that people who answer blind ads are too stupid to hire and that companies who hire people who answer blind ads are just as stupid as the people they're hiring.

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